In our 2024-25 Annual Report, we were privileged to share the stories of two Project Sitara participants. We sincerely thank Chitra and Mona for generously sharing their time and their stories with us, and for allowing us to include them in our Annual Report.
Both Chitra and Mona described Project Sitara as transformative and shared how it has already made a meaningful impact on their lives. They are excited to share their experiences so others in the community can learn about the program and the positive impact is makes.
The first of its kind in Australia, Project Sitara is an in-language program that partners with community leaders to prevent violence against women. Project Sitara supports community leaders to talk to others in their communities in ways that are culturally safe, and that increase understanding of what family violence is and where to seek support. Find out more about Project Sitara.
Chitra’s Story: Growing strength and community through Project Sitara
Chitra has worked in children’s services for more than 15 years. After beginning her career as a kindergarten teacher, she now runs a family day care from her home. She describes herself as someone who naturally helps others and is active in her community.
Chitra joined Project Sitara in 2024. She decided to join the program because she had seen and experienced family violence in her extended family and in her own marriage. “I have seen domestic violence in the past with my sister, and at the time I couldn’t help - we just thought, you know that’s your choice because you choose to marry him,” she says. “Later I realised I was also living with controlling behaviour too, things like being told what to wear, not being allowed to talk to friends, or being shut out of money decisions. At that time, I didn’t even know that was a kind of violence.”
Chitra reflected on her sister’s experience of violence and her own realisation that everyone has the right to make choices about their life and relationships. She said that before Project Sitara, she hadn’t recognised that things like restricting access to money, limiting social contact, or deciding who you can talk to are also forms of abuse. Through the program, she came to understand that these patterns are not acceptable, and that victim survivors can set boundaries and make changes.
She also described the pressures faced by women in her community who migrate from India and find themselves isolated or financially dependent. She said, “When I migrated [to Australia], I had seen so many girls who are sharing their experience of moving from India. They were compromising so many things [in their marriages and relationships], but we can’t help them.” She said many women don’t speak about violence or controlling behaviour because of social stigma and fear of being judged. Chitra joined Project Sitara because she wanted to help women like them — to give information, encouragement and understanding so that they could seek help safely. Since completing the program, Chitra has supported several women in the Indian Australian community experiencing family violence. One woman was being pressured by her husband to undergo medical procedures and coerced into sex.
Chitra encouraged her to talk with health professionals and helped her understand that this was a form of sexual abuse.
In another case, she helped a woman who was in immediate danger from her husband. Chitra offered her a safe place for the night, supported her to contact police, and helped connect her with The Orange Door for emergency accommodation and with GenWest for follow-up support. The woman and her children are now safe and rebuilding their lives.
“We need more Sitara’s because women need a hand to hold. Someone who can take them step by step through the process because sometimes [victim survivors] are already going through a lot and they don’t have that courage. Sometimes they change their minds because there’s so much to process. But [it helps] if there is one person to hold their hand and say ‘everything will be fine, have faith in this system’ - I think [Project Sitara] has changed things a lot.”
Through these experiences, Chitra has become a trusted point of contact for others in her community. She continues to use what she learned through Project Sitara to talk openly about gender roles, safety and respect. She often challenges everyday inequality, encouraging parents to teach both boys and girls to be independent and caring.
“[For people who want to join Project Sitara], they will realise that we have to do some work for community and for ourselves. I changed a lot after joining Project Sitara and now, I’m so confident.”
Reflecting on her journey, Chitra said she feels more confident and knowledgeable, and she values the opportunity Project Sitara gave her to help others. She believes that more people should have the chance to take part. As Chitra said, more Sitaras means women don’t have to face family violence alone, someone is there to walk beside them, step by step.
Mona’s Story: Learning, transforming, and innovating with Project Sitara
Mona runs a family day care service in Melbourne’s west where she has lived for over fifteen years. She migrated from India to Australia with her husband and they live with their two young children in a close-knit Indian community in Melbourne’s west.
It was through her community that Mona heard about Project Sitara. Mona signed up out of curiosity and encouragement from her friend Chitra, but after the first session she recognised the program would be useful in her daily life. In her work, she sometimes learns that families are facing difficult situations at home, and in the past, she has felt unsure about how to respond.
“You get to know other parents and they share their story, and sometimes you don’t know how to help or take that further. Back in India you have support from family and friends, but here you go through everything alone. When you see things are going on in somebody’s life [in Australia] you try to help, you try whatever you can.”
Mona is in her forties and thought that most people joining Sitara would be a similar
age, but she was surprised to find many women were older. She reflected on her joy in learning from the older women and says their stories and experiences completely changed her perspective.
Mona shared that Sitara is full of lively discussions, and in the beginning, Mona didn’t fully agree with everything she heard. “I used to ask, ‘Why do we only talk about women as victims? Why not men?’’ she said. She explained that their GenWest facilitator shared statistics which helped her understand the problem of men’s violence against women on a larger scale. “She is a very good teacher. She is amazing and the way she teaches and explains things is very clear.”
One statement shared by facilitators in the program had a big impact on Mona: ‘Violence is a choice’. Mona explained:
“That sentence completely changed me. I was shocked - how it was a choice? And when [the GenWest facilitator] asked ‘Why don’t they act out this kind of behaviour in the office, or in other public settings? Why with women, why in the home?’ I thought yeah, you’re right! Why don’t they show this kind of behaviour in other settings? Why with us? The whole thing changed my mind.”
Since finishing Project Sitara, Mona says her thinking and her conversations have changed. This has included advocating to bring Project Sitara to men in her community, “Project Sitara is very good, but if we have a men’s Sitara - I am telling you, it will be more beneficial. I wish this will start.”
“Women alone can’t do these things. We can discuss with each other, we can cry, we can give the shoulder, but we can’t change everything. Men need to talk with men, in every office environment or school, they should go through this training. And not once every year, they should keep on [being reminded] – ‘this is right’, ‘this is wrong’, ‘this is the limit’, and ‘this is what to expect’”.
Through Project Sitara, Mona says she’s also learned the importance of teaching children boundaries and equality early in life. “I have learned that you have to set limits. Then people know, ‘this is the limit’. That is very, very necessary in any kind of a relationship - whether it’s a friendship or it’s married life. When we know that limit, people start respecting that, and [it brings the] power [back into our own hands].”
Asked what she’d say to someone thinking about joining Project Sitara, Mona says “Go! Don’t think twice. You’ll learn things you thought you already knew. There are a lot of open discussions where you can speak your mind, and your whole perspective might change, as mine has changed.”
