Sexting & image-based abuse

What is sexting?

Sexting can include: 

• Sexually suggestive/explicit text messages 
• Sending nude, sexual or intimate photos or videos (also called ‘sending nudes’) 

It’s important to remember that there’s a big difference between sexting and image-based abuse, and it comes down to consent.

Sexting is a consensual form of sexual expression. 

Image-based abuse is when someone takes or shares nude or sexual images without consent. Often people refer to these abusive behaviours as examples of “sexting gone wrong,” which is really harmful and problematic. 

In what ways can sexting/sending nudes be a positive thing?

Sexting and sending nudes can be a positive and empowering experience and a fun way to express your sexuality. In the context of sexual and romantic relationships, it’s a way to flirt and be intimate with someone from a distance. 

Unfortunately, there can be a social stigma around it. People often think that women send nudes because they feel pressured by their (predominantly) male partners. This can happen, but these assumptions are ignoring people’s agency, bodily autonomy and the artistic expression that’s often involved in sexting.  

Many people take images of themselves when they feel sexy or good in their own skin, without necessarily being driven by a desire to share those images (though they may choose to share them later).  

Being able to decide how you are seen, and by whom, can be incredibly sexually empowering. It makes you a sexual agent rather than just a sexual object. 

Expressing your body with choice and creativity could be an uplifting experience that allows you to feel more connected to your body. Particularly for anyone marginalised by social norms, such as trans folk, people with disabilities and people experiencing body dysmorphia.   

What is image-based abuse? 

Image-based abuse is both a privacy violation and a sexual violation. According to studies image-based abuse involves (at least one of) the following three behaviours:  

1. The non-consensual taking or creating of nude or sexual images. 
2. The non-consensual sharing or dissemination of nude or sexual images. 
3. Threatening to share nude or sexual images. 

Creating – digitally altered images (i.e., photoshop) to appear nude or sexual; drawn images; and ‘deepfakes’ — or the use of AI technologies.  

Taking – The non-consensual taking of images refers to things such as secret image-capturing practices (i.e., hidden cams), images of someone without their knowledge, or who is incapacitated or asleep. 

Sharing – includes ‘showing’ (i.e., allowing someone to look at your phone), circulating a digital or printed image; or uploading an image to a website.  

This could also include the sending of unsolicited imagery to someone who hasn’t consented to see or receive it — sometimes known as cyberflashing — (such as dick pics), but this is not a recognised form of image-based abuse under Australia’s eSafety remit.  

Threats to share – refers to blackmail or threats within the context of a relationship. This could also include coercion (pressuring someone to send an image). 

Labels like “revenge porn” and “creepshots” are examples of different ways that image-based abuse is perpetrated. 

Why is it important that we don’t confuse sexting and image-based abuse? 

Because it conflates consensual sexual behaviours with non-consensual sexual behaviours. 

Sexting is consensual and image-based abuse is non-consensual. 

Because we do see incidents where consensually produced ‘sexts’ are redistributed without consent, some people assume that image-based abuse is just an inevitable outcome of sexting and use it as evidence of why people should never send nudes. This reinforces victim-blaming attitudes.  

Amy Adele Hasinoff points out that this is kind of like saying, “Let’s solve the problem of date rape by just making dating completely illegal.” 

Even though it’s really important to have open conversations about safety and minimising risk, stigmatising consensual behaviour isn’t the solution.  

What are some of the main myths about sexting and image-based abuse? 

That women do it for the benefit of men.

In terms of sexting, it is commonly assumed that nudes are predominantly sent my women and girls upon request by men and boys. Packed into this assumption is this idea that women don’t actually enjoy or benefit from sexting but do it out of obligation or in response to pressure.  

However, if someone sends an image because they feel pressured to, this is an example of image-based abuse and not consensual sexting. 

That young people don’t understand the risks.

There’s often the assumption young people are impulsive and not able to make good decisions, however, young people are smart and usually very aware of the risks involved in sexting.  

That it’s done as an act of revenge.

One of the main myths around image-based abuse is that it’s done as an act of revenge following a bad break up, which we know as ‘revenge porn’. This myth implies that the victim might have done something to bring about the abuse which isn’t true. 

A lot of image-based abuse occurs within contexts of ongoing relationships or friendships, usually to boast to friends or get social status. I think one of the reasons these myths linger is because it is harder to accept the reality that people might commit abuse for fun than it is to believe that they do so out of pain or anger. 

It’s important to remember that if someone breaks your trust and violates your privacy it’s never your fault! 

How many young people have experienced image-based abuse in Australia?

Studies suggest that around 1-in-5 Australians have experienced image-based abuse. This number is likely higher because there are barriers to people reporting and getting help.

Are some groups of people more likely to experience image-based abuse and victim blaming?

In Australia, those most at risk of experiencing image-based abuse are young people aged 16-to-29. Women and girls, people with a disability, Indigenous people; LGBTQIA+ people, and culturally and linguistically diverse persons are also more at risk than other people. 

Are there ways we can protect ourselves?

Whether you choose to take certain precautions with sexting or not, responsibility for image-based abuse always lies squarely with the perpetrator.  

One consistent piece of advice you’ll see is to “make sure you can trust the person.” And sure, on face value, that might seem like good advice. But, from another perspective, it distorts the extent to which betrayal – and the betrayal of trust – is a factor in abuse. (Remember, it’s not uncommon for image-based abuse to happen in the context of an ongoing marriage or long-term partnership.)  

It also feeds into the idea that some victims of abuse are just not discerning enough about who they choose to trust. Importantly, it also overlooks the fact that people can change. 

That being said, establishing a baseline level of trust and familiarity with someone before exchanging intimate imagery can help to minimise the risk. A good general rule is to try and establish that the person you are speaking with is who they claim to be.  

Another common piece of advice for people taking intimate images is to crop out their face and any identifying features (e.g., tattoos and birthmarks). This doesn’t suit everyone, but can enable some people to feel less vulnerable.  

In what way is consent important in image-based abuse? 

All sexual exchanges (whether online or in person) need to be firmly anchored in affirmative and informed consent.  

I think a big reason that image-based abuse is so pervasive, is related to the fact that consensual sexting is often judged and stigmatised. This means that conversations about consent haven’t really been normalised, which can be really disempowering.  

We need to have open discussions about boundaries and ‘housekeeping’ with sexting so that we feel comfortable expressing our wants and our needs.  

This might include: 

• Discussing whether images can be kept by the other person and, if so, where (e.g., an encrypted folder) and for how long  
• Clearly stating what you are comfortable sharing or receiving. 

As with any sexual experience, communicating boundaries is a valuable way to establish affirmative consent, build trust, and centre your own pleasure.  

What are the laws around image-based abuse?

The law states any sexual image of someone under 18 is child pornography, but if you are under 18 and have sent or received a sext you may not get into trouble. This is a simple way to understand the law and how it applies to you.   

‘Send’ – can I send a consensual sext of myself to someone? Yes, if you are both under 18 and no more than two years younger than each other.  

‘Keep’ – can I keep a consensual sext of someone that they sent me?  Yes, if you are both under 18 and no more than two years younger than each other.  

‘Share’ – In short, no. If the person is over 18 and did not explicitly consent to the image being shared, it is considered image-based abuse. If the person in the image is under 18, it is considered distributing child pornography. If you are found guilty you may get a criminal record, go to prison or be registered as a sex offender. Importantly, it’s also a really harmful thing to do to someone else.

Remember, if there is a criminal act being committed in the image, it is completely illegal, meaning none of the above exceptions apply. 

How can understanding the law help you? 

People with experience of image-based abuse will often state they didn’t seek help or report the abuse because they didn’t realise that it was wrong, illegal or that anything could be done about it.  

Having knowledge of the laws can be really valuable for people with, or supporting someone with, an experience of image-based abuse, especially in cases where getting material removed from digital platforms is a key concern.  

However, laws and legal action are only part of the solution, they’re not the whole solution.  

If you’re a victim of image-based abuse what sort of effect can it have on your mental health?

Most victim survivors of image-based abuse report experiencing: PTSD, anxiety and depression, feelings of shame, fear for physical safety, and suicidal ideation.  

It’s important to remember that image-based abuse can occur with other forms of harm, such as: family violence, bullying, stalking and harassment. Multiple forms of harm occurring at once can make it harder to recover.  

Another factor that can inhibit recovery is ‘permanence’, which refers to cases where the content cannot be removed from certain websites and/or continues to be circulated.  

Betrayal within relationships can also lead some people to become socially isolated and to find it difficult to trust others.   

What can you do to take care of yourself? 

To anyone with experience of image-based abuse, let me begin by saying: what happened to you was wrong, and it is not your fault.   

There are a lot of different things that you can do to take care of yourself, which may vary depending on your individual circumstances, and the support available to you. While there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach, here are some options that could be useful: 

Talk to someone: Some people may want to tell a trusted friend or adult. If this support is not available to you, you can access support through a mental health service or anonymous support group. It can be hard to know where to go and navigate all the different information that’s out there. A good place to start could be to check out UmiBot. 

Take time away from technology: While not always possible in today’s digital society, limiting screen time and/or de-activating social media can help. 

Do things you enjoy: We all have different ways of re-centring and regulating ourselves. Whether it’s rest, creative practice, outdoor adventures, or spending time with friends, try to make time for things that bring you joy.  

Make a report: There are lots of valid reasons that you might choose not to report, and your wellbeing should always be your first priority. However, sometimes reporting is an important step in being able to recover and move forward. There’s more information on this below. 

Who should you talk to? 

For most people, it is impossible to feel brave (or safe) when we feel we are being judged, and opening up to someone from a position of vulnerability takes a lot of bravery and courage.  

Unfortunately, because there is a lot of stigma and fear around sex and sexuality in our society, people can be quick to judge in matters relating to image-based abuse. Fear of being judged is one of the main reasons people don’t get help for image-based abuse. 

It’s not on you to predict or control how people react (that’s on them!). If you’re not sure how supportive your friends or family might be, you might want to begin by reaching out to a mental health professional with expertise in this area, a sexual assault service, or to an anonymous support service.  

How can I support a friend who’s experiencing image-based abuse?  

Don’t judge. Help create a space for your friend to talk about their experience.  

Be empathetic. Try to see the situation from the other person’s (i.e., your friend's) perspective.  

Believe them. even if believing them holds you accountable or hurts.  

Don’t assume they want advice. Sometimes people just want to be heard. (Or, if you’re not sure, you can ask them!) 

Use the right terminology or the terms preferred by your friend. 

Recognise your own needs and look after yourself. Community care starts with self-care!  

If you do choose to report image-based abuse, how do you go about it? 

Reporting can be a really important action to take, but it is not always the best way to safeguard your physical or emotional well-being.  

The Office of the eSafety Commissioner is the leading institution for overseeing, regulating, and responding to Image Based Sexual Abuse here in Australia. They can issue take-down requests, penalties, formal warnings and civil penalties. Their website outlines steps that you can take if you do want to make a report.  

In some cases, reports can also be made to the Australian Federal Police.  

As many people with experience of sexual violence will know, reporting to authorities can sometimes make the situation worse (or lead to secondary traumatisation).  

While I’m not discouraging people from making reports, I’m simply trying to highlight that it is a perfectly valid choice not to. I also want to make clear that reporting the abuse is not a substitution for emotional support. 

We need to shine a light on some uncomfortable truths about why image-based abuse is such a pervasive form of harm; interrogate the factors that motivate and reward the behaviour; and challenge/dismantle the cultural norms – and indeed the digital platforms – that enable and promote it.   

Resources 

Headspace
1800 650 890 (chat online or by email) 

Kids HelpLine
1800 55 1800

ReachOut

eSafety

UmiBot
UmiBot is a chatbot (i.e., not a human) created by a small team of researchers at RMIT University, to offer help to people who are unsure about what their options are and where to go for help for image based abuse. Umibot provides information, support and general advice on non-consensual intimate images (including digitally altered photos or videos). Umibot is not a formal or official tool for reporting image-based abuse. Anyone, including victim-survivors, bystanders and perpetrators, can chat with Umi to learn about: 

• Laws, both criminal and civil, at the Australian national and state/territory levels
• Reporting options, including those for digital platforms, the police and the Australian eSafety Commissioner
• Support services, such as hotlines, counselling services and legal aid
• Capturing evidence of image-based abuse
• Cybersecurity measures that users can take to protect their devices and privacy
• Keeping safe online